Story #5 - March 3, 2012

When I was in 7-8th grade, my brother and I decided to have a bike race.  The path was through our backyard, down the alley, around the corner, back up the street and into our driveway, repeated.  We start off just fine, but on our second lap, as we are going down the alley, a dog comes barking out from beneath the house next to us.  My brother immediately starts screaming "AH! AH! AH! A DOG! AH! AH!" and jumps off his bike, causing it to careen into me, ripping off a bunch skin from my ankle.  I get tangled up and wreck fairly hard, getting scraped up a bit. Meanwhile, my brother starts running off to our house, freaking out, claiming the dog bit him.  I get back up, the dog is nowhere to be seen, and I have to drag both bikes back to the house, bloodied.  I check up on my brother; he doesn't have a scratch on him.

TL;DR: My brother is an idiot.

Story #4 - March 1, 2012

Katydids are the worst insects in the world. They are loud, noisy, breed like mad, and their bites hurt like hell. Even worse, they're terrible fish bait and chickens won't eat them, so when their populations would explode in the summer, we had no good way of getting rid of them.  My siblings and I were terrified of them; could not stand to be around them at all.  And because of our immense hatred for them, we developed a horribly stupid game that we played when we went camping, and I still have not figured out how I allowed myself to participate in it. It's pretty simple: one person sits in a chair and drapes a towel over their face/upper body. The other person(s) grabs a katydid and tosses at the person sitting down, usually from close range, where its almost impossible to miss. Then the person retrieves the katydid and repeats.  This goes on until the person on the chair wants to switch.  Somehow, my brother, sister, and I did this willingingly without pressure from each other, for a good 20 minutes, each taking equal time sitting down, until our mom yelled at us for torturing the katydid. 

TL;DR: Kids are stupid, and I was no exception. Also, fuck katydids.

Story #3 - February 29, 2012

When I was in 4th grade,  I got into a fight with my brother. Fist fight, I should add.  After a few moments of going at it, he jumps up and grabs a large fish hook that we were looking at, in the living room, and slams it into my arm, getting stuck into the muscle. I had to go to the doctor to have it removed. They had to tug at it for a good 3-4 mins before it finally popped out. My brother's punishment was having to sit on the bench at his double header ball game that night, which was the worst thing my mom could do to him, supposedly. He cried like a baby and said it wasn't fair, and even cried as he sat on the bench and couldn't play.

TL:DR - Brother was batshit insane as a kid.

Story #2 - Febraury 28, 2012

When I was little, like pre-kindergarten age, I used to eat eggs. I liked scrambled eggs and would eat them for breakfast quite often.  Then, one day, my mom served us canned Raviolis for breakfast instead of eggs. After that day, I have hated eggs with a passion, and refuse most things that are predominately eggs.

TL;DR - I am a fickle, picky bastard.

Story #1 -February 27, 2012

Yesterday at work, I had to dispose of a pallet of cucumbers that had gone bad; some had even liquified. There were 36 cases of cucumbers on this pallet with a minimum of 70 cucumbers in each case.  70 X 36 = 2520 cucumbers.  We sell cucumbers at 74¢ apiece, meaning I tossed away $1864.80 worth of cucumbers.  It filled a fourth of the organics dumpster.

TL;DR: The produce department is a giant money sinkhole.

Welcome

I will be posting a new story each day for as long as I can remember to keep it up.  These stories are mostly short anecdotes that I would like to tell, but never have the appropriate time to do so, nor are they interesting enough to bring up by themselves.

That is all.